Hello again my friend 🙂 It’s great to be back…
After writing about the passing of my grandfather last month, I have been struggling as to what to write about and how to express certain things I’m dealing with. I’ve been going through a period of instability as well as uncertainty. Honestly, I just haven’t felt grounded at all. Instead, I have been feeling stuck, a bit lost in the world & completely disconnected (mentally, emotionally + spiritually).
this too shall pass…
Throughout this period, I’ve felt “off” or not like myself. It’s such an odd feeling – and I can’t really explain it. Off balance? Lost in the world? Disconnected? I think it might be a mixture of those things and more. I’ve been questioning my worth, my skills, my path in life and my entire existence. Oh, the simple things.
Despite it all, I know at the core of my being that these external things I am fighting cannot stay at the forefront of my life for the rest of eternity. Time moves on, love prevails, we grow, we learn and yes, we heal.
This unstable period has forced me to dive within – perhaps it is the place where I feel the most like myself. I’ve been spending more time in the Word and have been enlightened by the time I spend in meditation. Sometimes, it is the low points in life that bring my ego back down to Earth – back to our essential need for true agape love.
I was recently talking to a friend of mine over messenger who sent me this beautiful message:
“when the well seems dry, just wait. it takes time to collect the fresh water. and after enough waiting, it becomes bursting with fresh water up from the ground. …and you thought it was empty for good!” – my friend Nick.
divine wisdom & guidance…
Sometimes, it can be hard to quiet my mind; especially in the midst of chaos. One of the sacred practices I use to tap into divine wisdom & guidance is reading oracle cards. During my reading for March, I was shuffling the cards as one card slipped out of the pile and onto the ground… impatience. The message on the card read “ my life is unfolding in Divine timing. All delays are beneficial. I’m always at the right place at the right time.”
Impatience. The exact thing I’ve been struggling with for months… especially when I relate it directly to unemployment and the negative thought patterns I have been succumbing to in accordance to that.
I almost always find deep meaning in the cards but pulling this card hit me in a powerful way… it was too spot on. I brushed it off while picking up the second deck and shuffling.
Lo and behold, the next card I pull depicts a painting of the Celtic Goddess Oonagh with the following message: Easy Does It, “There is no need to hurry or force things to happen. everything is occurring in perfect timing.”
Ok. I get it, I get it. The last card I pull dons the message “Be Strong : you are stronger than you think you are, and your strength assures a happy outcome”. Wow. Reading this all while I have been on the edge of my breaking point. At this point, I’m hearing God loud and clear… I’ve been praying for patience, trust and wait for it… strength.
I always have to take a deep breath after thinking about these things, the reminders in these messages are filled with power. The fact is that *shit happens* but, we are never alone. Not only are we never alone but we are walking alongside a spirit that provides us with a love that we, as humans, cannot even comprehend.
The beautiful thing about this is that things are looking up. I have been feeling a shift in energy. Not only is my depression fading but spring is making space for beautiful growth – how beautiful is that!? Good things are coming and we just have to do our part in staying grounded, living in love and spending time with the Divine.
At the core of my being, I know things will work out. I will have more mountains to climb and valleys to rest in but for now, I must live in the present moment. All I can do is be patient, trust the Holy Spirit and take care of myself in strength- and that I will try my best to do.
Peace be with you.
P.S. Below is my go-to meditation frequency that boosts positive energy + refreshes the soul. Hope you enjoy!
Grateful heart. Thank you for this innocent inclination, this innovative introspection, this immense invocation, and an intentional invitation. Big love from around and above.
Keep your head up and ‘say yes to the process by meeting it halfway’. 2020 vision, a budding bloom.