the power of now & finding sacred balance.
After 4,500 miles out west & back, I find myself home again. Bringing myself back to earth is always challenging. My friend & I spent the first two weeks of August road trippin’ from the midwest out to Utah & Colorado. It was quite literally the breath of fresh air that I needed after everything that has happened this year. I was on cloud nine but, I must come back to reality.
Tonight is the new moon in Leo… another breath of fresh air and a great time for reflection. This year has been life-changing. Allowing myself the space to find freedom on the open road for a few weeks has proved to be a tremendous gift. I’ve had a lot going on in my head lately: trying to prioritize healing, figuring out what I want to do with my time on this planet, attempting to process the world around me… etc. This trip helped me to process the great healing has already occurred in my life while also pointing out areas which need more light & love. I am grateful to be here to share some photos from my journey as well as some things that I have been on my mind as of late…
I’ve been reading (or, well, listening) to a lot of Eckhart Tolle’s writing lately. I finished The Power of Now on my trip & Tolle’s wisdom has helped me to put certain things in perspective. This specific novel focuses on the power that comes through when you practice mindfullness (or presence, being, living in the moment, etc.). I find the deepest peace when I work with the energy of the Earth & the elements. There is freedom in taking a step back, gaining a different perspective and leaving space to explore… to understand… to be.
“Realize deeply that the preset moment is all you ever have”
Eckhart Tolle
With awareness, I can admit that I often find myself living in either the past or the future (often -meaning the majority of the time). I find myself romanticising what once was or daydreaming of what could be. I do want to remind you that there is nothing fundementally wrong in revisiting old memories or planning for the future but being deeply rooted in these places mentally, can be unhealthy. Through my practices and rituals, I know that whenever I am at peace, I am entirely in the moment. Whenever I am feeling fearful, anxious or upset, my thoughts are often in the past or the future.
How do I practice presence? There are many ways to live in the moment but please remember that awareness is key. In order to be fully present in each moment, you must practice awareness. It is so important to be conscious of your thoughts and to not let your mind become numb. It takes practice & hard work… these life-altering teachings are not easy to learn & apply. In order to awaken the mind, you must find both silence & stillness. Nature is a fantastic place to explore this practice. The Earthly elements are tools for grounding, learning & being. Mother Earth is not only a great healer but a teacher. Our job is to allow ourselves to find that time & space to listen.
Apart from nature, writing has been a place of refuge for me. Since I started The Artist’s Way, the morning pages have consistently brought me peace when my mind is scattered. In fact, I continue to have significant breakthroughs while writing my morning pages. My biggest challenge is showing up for this practice every single day… it is something I am working on, with time. In addition to writing some other things that help me to live in the present moment are: meditiation, singing, dancing, yoga, breath work & prayer.
I want to cry… not from sadness, but from peace.
– from my morning pages
This trip gave me plenty of time & space to be. I found beautiful moments of deep peace on this trip. Even in short moments of meditation, I felt divine love throughout my entire being & it was breathtaking. I loved spending time at the lake at Sand Hollow State Park. I often brought my awareness to the water: the way the water moved between my fingers, how it graced my skin, how it felt in my hair. I also worked with the cleansing energy of the air and the wind. Nothing compares to taking a deep, slow breath of mountain air.
This time away left plenty of space for deep reflection, which was needed. During this time, I kept coming back to balance & all that comes with that. I have learned countless lessons over the past few years & I have gained great wisdom but I still have plenty of work to do… there is that sweet spot between giving and recieving. I have finally accepted that I am an empath but sometimes it feels like both a blessing and a curse. I love very deeply and tend to give my love freely… but, I need to be discerning (for my own sake). I know I am the way I am according to divine purpose and it would be amazing to learn how to use my gifts in a way that doesn’t leave me constantly depleted.
In my soul, I want to be able to always love others with reckless abandon but I have deep-set wounds that need to heal. The mantra that continues to come up for me is ‘I do not take anything personally’ from don Miguel Ruiz’s The Four Agreements. I am working to get to a place where I am fully engulfed in the waters of self-love… I am trying to step away from dependence. I use different things to fill up holes in my heart rather than tapping into divine love. I know that awareness is the first step and putting things into action is the next.
I am grateful for the insight this space brought into my soul. Great healing is coming, in time. I will keep with me the magical moments, the lovely company & the magnificent views but time moves on. thank you for the memories. 🙂 Now, I must find some peace where I am. As the new moon energy washes over us, I am excited to learn & to grow… to create time + space for being… to set boundaries… to find a bit of freedom in each day… to trust the Spirit… to be where I am…
what would it feel like to live & love with reckless abandon?
peace & love, always.
kendall
p.s. happy new moon 🙂