There is nothing like a woman finding her power again. Breaking through barriers, igniting the inner fire, moving past fear, reclaiming power… taking back her own life.
As my 27th birthday has come & gone, I almost feel like I am starting from scratch. I’m rebuilding, relearning, reprioritizing, analyzing all of my relationships & actively questioning the world around me.
& today, I want to talk about breaking free.
After reading Wintering last year, I have been enjoying living my life in tandem with the seasons. This past winter, I allowed myself to slow down, to hibernate, to rest & to dive into the deeper parts of myself – to face the shadows.
Last year was complete chaos for me. I felt like I was standing on quicksand, fighting to stay above the Earth, struggling to breathe. The pandemic left me in a very unhealthy state of fear. I was putting all of my energy into an environment that was taking advantage of me and all of my relationships were falling apart. I dug out the courage to leave a very toxic workplace in November and found myself detached, numb, burnout, – running on empty. I don’t even want to say I was stressed because that would be an understatement. I physically & mentally collapsed and was forced to face myself – something that was not very enjoyable.
In the depth of that darkness, I realized that for so long, I had been stuck in the role of the obedient, loyal, dedicated “good-girl”, lending my time and energy to ANYONE that asked. I didn’t know how to say no, I was living with zero boundaries and actively allowed people to walk all over me because I wanted people to like me.
I was putting my power in the hands of other people and living a life that wasn’t mine.
I found myself disconnected, detached and I started dissociating to the point where I barely recognized myself in the mirror. Abuse, trauma and toxicity can do that to you – especially if you tend to bury those things instead of working through them.
I spent most of the winter alone in my room, numbing the pain and trying to run from myself, all while disappearing from all my social circles. As dark as it was, there were times when I found the courage to go deep within myself and those moments changed everything. I allowed myself to look at my past, without judgement, analyze the very clear patterns in my life and get to the root of why I am the way I am and what past life situations have contributed to building the person I am today.
As we move into spring, I am allowing that darkness to fall behind as I move forward and focus on the light. Now that I have faced the shadows, I have the space to mend my wounds with acceptance, grace, courage and love.
I am starting from a clean slate and focusing on building a life that makes ME happy. I am grateful for the dark times because they allow me to fully appreciate the times filled with love & light. The challenges I have gone through have only made me stronger and more capable to handle what will come in the future. I am rebuilding a more solid foundation that rests upon self-care, self-love and self-respect before anything else.
I am always growing, reevaluating, and actively working to become a better version of myself not only for me but for anyone who I meet on my path. I am learning to love & accept myself in new ways. I am learning to give myself grace when I am faced with doubt, fear and negativity. I am learning to stand up for what I believe in, to use my voice and to speak my truth. I am getting back in touch with my inner voice, my spirit guides, and my intuition. I am taking accountability for my actions, owning up to my mistakes with honesty and apologizing when I revert back to old ways.
Through the pain, I’ve found my worth. Through the trauma, I’ve found love again. Through the struggle, I’ve learned to trust myself. I have learned that boundaries are essential. I’ve learned that the nasty words people throw your way are only a reflection of their pain or jealously – not your truth. Thank you all for teaching me how to move forward, with grace, with beauty, with power & with strength.
Here is to breaking free of the bullshit. Breaking free from the chains that try to weigh you down. Breaking free from the evil in this world.
- I am breaking free from outdated structures that do not serve me.
- I am breaking free from negative energies that try to keep me in a state of fear.
- I am breaking free from attachment to others opinions of me.
- I am breaking free from the need to please others.
- I am breaking free from always being the one to say yes.
- I am breaking free from narcissistic predators.
- I am breaking free from toxic relationships.
- I am breaking free from unbalanced relationships.
- I am breaking free from fear.
- I am breaking free from cultural norms.
- I am breaking free from my past.
- I am breaking free from negative thought patterns.
Here is to overcoming hardship, to fighting through tough experiences, to removing yourself from environments that are harmful, to believing that life IS beautiful, that you deserve happiness & that peace is always available to you 🙌🏼✨
sending you all the peace & all the love 🙂